2023 felt like chaos

I think the title of my post describes how I feel about last year.  I traveled a lot to see my Dad and be there when he was in the hospital.  Also, just taking care of things for him.  I spent a lot of time with small boys.  We went to New Orleans often.  I took a trip by myself.  I was home most weekends to work markets.  I did not finish everything for Christmas.

I need to write down some recipes so I can go back and reproduce them.  Or someone else can.  That is the goal for here this year.  More recipes.  Maybe thoughts.  I have been writing on planes.  Nothing significant.  Just trying.  I have a quiet life.  How can a quiet life be so full of chaos?

The picture is of me starting my go to breakfast currently.  Again, I need to write it down.  I start rolls the day before and finish them when I wish to eat them the next day.  My sourdough needs a bit of a boost because I am not using it as much as I did so I let the yeastie beasties start their magic here.  I change this roll every time.  Currently, I am trying to get more protein in my life.  I lost some muscle when I had food poisoning.  Again, chaos happens.

I wish you well and a lovely 2024.

the twisty road

I was going to try to be more deliberate about being in this space.  That was before the road became more twisty.  Life is just chaotic.  Then add that my Dad is nearing the end of his life, and the road becomes more twisty.  I do try to walk every day.  I found a taste of autumn near my Dad's house this week.

I feel like I am not home much, which I am not really.  I try to see my Dad every two weeks.  This summer there were times that there were no doctors' appointments and we drove around Washington state.  We took one of his shotguns and one of his pistols to my mountain and shot.  Then, we drove through two different passes in the Cascades.  That was 450 miles of driving.  Two weeks later we drove 600 miles to and from The Palouse.  It is also an area of Washington.

He really seemed to enjoy it.  But he is not moving well.  He is very slowly and, more ,the balance is not there.  He is thinking about the next road trip.  Did I get any pictures?  No.  I did all the driving.  I would like to go back to The Palouse and take more time for pictures.  Down the road.

I took the boys with me one of the weeks I went to see my Dad.  We did a short road trip.  We went up to our mountain.  We took a tree out from across our road with hand saws.  We got it done.  Yes, there are chain saws there but I felt it would have taken me as long to get the chain saws out and working as it did for us to hand saw it.  The only casualty was my dress.  I put a hole in it with the last tooth of the hand saw.

My whole family went on a trip to Colorado.  We stayed first at Black Canyon in Gunnison National Park.  It was good but three days in we felt like we had done everything we wished to do.  The canyon is gorgeous but there are not a lot of hikes.  We like hiking.  

So we took a risk, broke down camp, and went to see if we could find another campground down the road.  If not, we would slowly head home, camping all the way.  We found a lovely National Forest campground outside Ouray, Colorado.  Angel Creek.  It was more us.  More trees.  More everything if that makes sense.  Ouray had a public mineral hot spring and the boys adored it.  

We also went on a hike to the Alpine Mine.  It is a defunct gold mine.  How do we always pick the hike that is challenging?  It was only about a 4 mile hike but it had 2000 feet of elevation change in that four miles.  It is listed as moderate but not after coming up from sea level less then a week before.  Or having COVID in the last three months.  But we made.  It was gorgeous.  The velociraptor had to be carried most of the way up but flew all the way down.  Always interesting.  We all felt that this is the campground we should have been at the whole time.  We also want to go back.  There is just a lot more to explore and hike in the region.  And we are hikers.  More like saunters but we get there!

We did not wish to leave.  The last day of the drive back, the velociraptor broke his right arm at a Safety Area playground.  The TxDOT personnel were wonderful.  We were near Quanah, Texas and the county hospital there was lovely.  We did have to go into Fort Worth and he had surgery on his arm to set it and Cook Children's Hospital.  Add excitement to a vacation!  We drove home the next day.  Blue was in a lot of pain.  He is now doing better but still in a cast with pins.  The x-rays show that bone was pretty shattered.  He is supposed to keep his feet on the ground.  I am just lucky if he is not running!  Another couple weeks and hopefully, cast and pins are gone.

I have changed my creating for all the travel.  Everything is by hand.  I have started to make my dresses by hand because it is so much  more portable.  It also slows the process down.  My making a dress on a sewing machine could be considered fast fashion.  I also had a handful of dresses shrink up.  Or I want a longer length.  I am not sure which currently.  I am sure I am enjoying longer.

But those dresses and the one that got eaten by the hand saw have all become linen slips.  I can always use more slips, especially since the one I have are on their last legs.  Some were even my Mom's.  Nylon and polyester does not work very well in the heat we have had this summer.

The twists in the road is this season of life.  An added twist this autumn will be the boys brick and mortar school.  The first week is gone and they seem to be enjoying it.  Logistics are everything!  Just managing the day to day has been a lot. 

I also find I do not like to write when the house is too loud.  It is always loud now.  I am trying to find quiet for myself.  When I travel, especially alone, I seek out libraries.  But traveling alone, other than to my Dad's, does not happen often.  Finding time to be creative is hard.  Finding time to be sane is hard.  Mostly, it is walking right now.  Even more, when I can walk alone.  Exhaustion is real.

overnight rolls

Life has been busy since January.  I have been traveling most weeks.  It is either to my Dad's or with family.

My Dad has felt that he has declined since he got COVID.  I would agree.  He seems to be more fragile.  I do not think we will have him in our lives as long as we may hope.  I am trying to just spend more time with him.  It does mean I get to go for more walks in the woods.  I also feel like I have learned to travel more easily.  I am down to one carry on bag when I fly.  Even when I travel by car.  I just do not need to take everything anymore.  Simple is good.

I still take a crochet or embroidery project.  My hands need to be busy.  Mending is never ending so that is where most of my sewing attention is currently.  I am contemplating making my next spring suit.  A neoprene swimsuit basically.  The one I have has completely stretched out and I cannot find anything that I like in a shop.  My biggest problem there is that I have found five pieces of fabric I like.  Making a decision on fabric is sometimes the hardest thing.  I really only need one.  The idea of sewing with neoprene is not even as daunting as just making the decision of which fabric.

My Beloved and myself went to New Orleans for my birthday week.  Lots of walking, food, drink, and good people.  We stayed in a bed and beverage that had a roof deck with Adirondack chairs on it.  It was the straw for me to get the chairs I wanted for the front porch.  I am continuing the New Orleans tradition of having my morning tea on the front porch.  It make life better.  It is where I am writing now.  I can sit and have Blue or Bear sharing the space and it is not quite as overwhelming as being inside.  I also can watch the roses I planted grown.

One of the things I have found hard with all the traveling I am doing is having home baked fresh bread.  When we were in Homer, I came across a cookbook called The Nordic Baker.  The author has a recipe for overnight bread rolls which I have been using.  I can have fresh bread for breakfast even if it is not in the form of a loaf. 

I do find I have to share with the Bear.  I have to be very specific if I need to save some for say a camping trip.  I went by myself and this was the bread I took.  It travels well.  I have also taken the author's idea of an easy overnight roll and made a more enriched dough for the bun.  It worked well.  What I am saying, is that I have used this recipe as a framework and gone other directions with it.

overnight rolls

Note:  I modified this recipe from The Nordic Baker to use sourdough and more to my taste.  I have also kneaded in butter and used milk instead of water, added more sugar.  The only thing I have not tried with this so far is to add an egg but it would make something more similar to a brioche if you did.

2 tablespoons sourdough starter 

1 1/4 cup water (the recipe called for cold but I use room temperature water)

1 tablespoon maple syrup

1 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup rye flour

2 1/4 cup spelt or wheat flour (I have used both)

I mix everything in a bowl and then put it in a covered Pyrex to sit on the counter overnight, 8 to 12 hours. My winter kitchen works very well for leaving the dough on the counter.  My summer kitchen will need me to put this dough in the refrigerator for this time.  Make sure the dough is covered well.

This should be a wet sticky dough so kneading will probably not happen.  Just stir very well.  If not extra.

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

Cover a baking sheet with a silpat or parchment paper.

Turn the dough out on a lightly floured surface.  Divide into 10 equal portions.  Do not work too much about shaping.  I push the corners under to make the rounder when I move them to the silpat covered baking sheet.

Bake for about 15 minutes or until golden.  Let cool for a few minutes and then serve warm.

I like them with butter and jam.  Or cream cheese and smoked salmon.  On my camping trip, I cut them in half and fried them in not butter to have for breakfast.  It is really a great way to have fresh bread.

brain musings

In early August, I got my second opinion about my eye.  Since then, I have been trying to figure out in my brain what to do next.  And take care of all the people in my life who I take care of.

The second opinion is that I will need a cornea transplant.  The ophthalmologist believes this would have happened with or without the injury from the ax.  The head trauma just made it happen now.  She believes that I have something called ICE syndrome.  What caused it?  Not sure.  It may be viral.  My arthritis may be a factor.  It will be a factor about how long the transplant would last.  It is possible I would need a cornea transplant every five years.

I am wondering if this is a way for my body to tell me to rest.  To take care of myself instead of others.  The surgery would also require a cataract surgery at the same time.  I would need to be flat on my back for three days (45 minutes out of every hour).  I am not sure how that would happen with my life.  My boys really like Alaska The Last Frontier and they say a lot "with this lifestyle, this is how this works."  That is how I feel about this surgery.  With my life, how would I make it work.

I have medical ground work to do and tall short person has school where I watch the boys twice a week.  My ophthalmologist is changing practices.  The surgery I would need is also not common so there is usually only a few surgeons in a city that can do it.  Whether Houston or Seattle, it will take doing.

During all this, I have been back and forth to my Dad's too.  More doctors appointments.  Shoe shopping that turned into a doctors appointment.  Potential of more surgery.  My sister found a companion for him so that is less of a worry.  He did fine by himself but he did not really wish to be alone in case something happened.  As he pointed out, health decline can happen fast and everyone else is a flight away.  I do not worry so much if I cannot get up there every other week.  And with doctor appointments, work, and family, sometimes it doe not work that well.

We planned a trip to Homer this fall.  That is where these pictures are coming from.  I really like picking a state, then a small town, and going.  I gave the boys the choice of Utah, the mountain, or Alaska.  They chose Alaska.  I then said Sitka, Homer, or Kodiak.  They said Homer because we had already done Sitka.  It was a long flight and a unexpectedly long drive to Homer.  The four hour drive turned more into six.  Would I do it again?  Yes.

Homer is a small town.  It was shoulder season so we missed some festivals.  The autumn colors were lovely.  The temperatures were wonderful.  We had much rain for a few days so I was glad the duplex we rented had a washer and dryer.

Was there a lot to do in Homer?  Not really.  The Pratt museum was good, especially with Blue who ran through it but thought all the skeletons of animals were great.  The Wildlife Refuge Center was also good, but again boys attention spans.  There was shopping but the main place we went was the hardware store.  There were a lot of places that were already closed for the season, especially on the spit. 

I did look up a lot of the easy hikes.  Blue does not really do distances yet.  I was trying to keep the hikes under 2 miles and they worked for him.  Both energy and attention span.  Bear grumbled about every hike until he was on it and then he would say it was the best time ever!  We went walked the beach, walked the Beluga Slough Trail, Alpine Meadows loop, and Calvin and Coyle Trail.  I could have walked more but all of these worked with ALL the boys.  

I would actually go back when we can saunter longer.  But I have a feeling that another small town will be fixed next.  Driving to Anchorage has also been talked about.  I also really liked that we had a duplex with our own kitchen and washer and dryer.  We ate much better because of it.  We ate once in Homer at Thai Cosmic Kitchen.  Highly recommend.  It is some of the best Thai food I have had.  I was told Thai food is very popular in Alaska.

Adventures are good.  

Much camping

The end of March and April we took the small boys camping almost every other weekend.  One trip was to celebrate my birthday.  The others were because both boys do so much better outside camping.  One trip, I was the only adult and that worked well.

I am trying to walk someplace new on any other weekend.  My left cornea is not healing.  My ophthalmologist did make me laugh.  I have idiopathic cornea edema.  With a straight face, he told me it means the idiots do not know why my cornea edema has not reduced.  He also floated the idea of a cornea stem cell transplant.  

I am currently on three prescriptions because he and his cohorts do not know.  I have been talked about.  One of the prescriptions is for glaucoma and it can cause more pain.  Outside is a good place to be.  I do not have much energy by the end of the day between this and boys to feel like being creative.  Dinners and dishes are also interesting.  The Tall Short Person broke her wrist on her dominate hand and helps the best she can but....

I have done some nice things for myself like have coffee or lunch with friends.  I have to admit I have tried to keep in it in driving distance.  Driving and reading have become more difficult because of my eye.  I may end up learning more Mandarin and Korean due to this.  It gets back to reading.

I see the doctor again this week.  I am trying to be what be will be.  I currently would love to go to Abiqui Campground just to be.  I may take the next fifth Sunday I have to do that.  Because I am still working all the markets.  My creativity is about pouring knife scales.  Or a few rows of crochet.  It will depend if I can find a campsite.  That is Memorial Day weekend.  I can hope for New Mexico or West Texas.  I would like desert.

But watch the doctor or doctors change my plans.  Or my Beloved's.  My Dad has some early June appointments too.

Life keeps going forward.  And getting more twisty  More walking.  More camping.  More stitches, whether crochet or sewing.  Sanity is the priority.