a bit tired

I keep reminding myself that I am the best at over doing.  I have wanted to go climbing for a while now.  I have probably been talking about it for a couple years.  Thinking for it longer.  I went yesterday.  I had so much fun.  But I am tired and just a bit sore today.  So tired that I chipped one of my favorite cups after a trip to the grocery store that I did not enjoy and I almost cried tired tears.  I am not very good at slowing down when I find something I like.

This climbing gym is a bouldering gym and in bicycling distance from the house.  Which means that I am thinking about going again soon.  Koda Bear and my Beloved went with me but I can see where I will go by myself in the future.  Koda Bear wished to sleep there last night.  It tells you how much he enjoyed it!

It has been a summer of twists and turns.  I am not sure that they are good twist and turns but I am willing to see how it all goes in the future.  I am trying not to pass judgement.  More of a wait and see.  It helps that I have a yarn fairy in my life and I got sent a skein of yarn.  I am going to make myself a hat for winter wear.  Especially if I need to walk, skateboard, or bicycle to the climbing gym.  It did put a smile on my face.  And it was a skill I wished to learn.  

It is definitely something different for when the surf is flat!

and I am back

I am back from the mountain.  I do not really wish to be even though there is much work to do.  Me and my trusty grass whip were out wacking a lot of weeds.  I need to learn how to use a chain saw as well.

But berries got picked and I made jam again at my parents.  Any of the berries that had gotten a lot of sun were done but if there was any bit of shade or just not as many hours of sun, berries were still there.  Blackberry and thimble berry.  My parents think this low lying blackberry is the most tasty.  It is similar to what I pick in Houston but the thorns are not as deep.  There were many less wounds.

I am going to need to start practicing with a shotgun again.  There was a bear seen down lower that was the largest healthiest bear my neighbor had seen.  His Dad did not say that but he did.  She just kept going her way. 

The more worrisome animal was the cougar.  The cougar that I was told looked like a bear wearing a cougar suit it was so large.  There were pictures.  The cougar was walking down our road.  Like nothing else was going on.  Bears can be scared off.  They do not like noise.  Cougars are not the same.  My father was consulted for what the right firearm would be best for me to use for both bear and cougar.  Now, I need to practice. 

For this consultation, my Dad sent mending home with me.  He asked if I would make short sleeve out of long sleeve shirts for him.  I have to laugh because I obviously do not fall for from that tree!

So Koda Bear was kept more in sight then normal.  He helped dig out the blackberry breed that I do not wish on the mountain.  Rain would have helped the digging to be easier but the roots were gotten out.

He asked to go to the park.  When the park has this view, yes.  There was also tea.  Ice cream and doughnuts after.

It was such a fast trip.  But this sunset over Colorado was so pretty.  I need to go back already.  About six weeks.

a quiet 4th of July

I had a quiet day yesterday.  Yes, it was the 4th of July.  Independence day.  I try not to be political here but I am not very happy with my elected officials.  I have done what I am able and will continue to do what I am able.  It is very frustrating where I am in a precinct and state where it is very obvious that my elected officials do not wish to know what I think.  I do vote though.  And I will continue too.  I will keep making the offer to feed people who have more energy or are more extroverted then I am.

On top of politicians, it rained and flooded yesterday.  We were traveling to friends so the journey was taken with care and we arrived safely.  Then it was just a quiet day.  These friends we can have a conversation with all day but also do not feel the need to talk if we do not wish.  Or even do anything.  

After the rains stopped, the sun came out a little bit.  The sunset was gorgeous.  There was fireworks up and down the beach.  Some of those were probably planned by a municipality but most were just every day people.  

It was a good day.

the unexpected

Today has been full of the unexpected.  Nothing has gone to plan.  I could whine and complain.  I could be angry and frustrated.  Instead, I have laughed at myself a lot, figured out how to do what I need to do.  But there is always bread dough.  It is calming to make and in the end, there is food for people.  Especially boys.  What more can you ask for?

Due to boyos asking for cinnamon rolls about twice a month, if not every time I bake bread, my laminating skills are getting better.  There is no fear attached to the process anymore.  I do not wonder if I am doing it incorrectly or not.  I know the rolls will be light and tasty when I am done so why worry?

I am even going as far as just making a bit of a larger batch of bread for the rolls.  Sometimes I just make the loaf smaller.  

I use tools that other people would think is not the right tool for the job.  But my Japanese noodle knife is perfect for cutting cinnamon rolls.  It was made to cut noodles which is just dough.  You could think of cinnamon rolls as very wide noodles.

In the end, the cinnamon rolls are ready to bake.  I am a little bit calmer deep in my soul.  And the boyos are happy.  I am thinking about trying this with kouign amman tomorrow.  The simple French style bread I have been making is what is rising.  I made the batch just a bit larger then normal to try just that.  Laminations with butter and sugar to see what happens.

If you do not expermint.  If you do not try something new.  What is the point?

experimentation in dough

It has been an interesting week.  I actually felt like not getting on the computer.  Partially because I am in mid projects.  Partially because I have not had a lot of words.  I decided it is okay not to have words and I took a day off from my writing schedule.

I have been thinking about playing with a chocolate dough.  I follow a lot of bakers on Instagram and this type of bread comes up a lot on my feed.  I decided to play.  I felt the need to have my hands in dough.

I started with the most recent french style bread I wrote about.  Add a few different flours for depth of flavor and cocoa.  I am now waiting again!  And I am laughing. 

The bread will be baked sometime this afternoon or evening.  Late afternoon if afternoon.  The bread I make takes time.  Patience.  I was talking to a chef just about this on Monday.  I actually got an invite to work a stage with their bakery chef if I wish.  I told the chef he can always come here and I will work with him to make his bread better. 

I could give him my secrets for hummus as well.  Even though the restaurant he works as has one of the two best hummus' in the city, the boyos think mine is better.  But mine is not topped with braised lamb neck which they really liked.  I am going to have to figure that one out.  I have a butcher shop I will wander to some day soon.

Writing a bit about my Monday, it may come to know surprise that I am acquainted with people who knew Anthony Bourdain.  I did not know the man even though I admired his work.  I do know that his death has affected a community larger then the professional chefs and foodies. 

I have dealt with depression.  I know the reasons behind it but that does not always make it easier.  I have no good advice to anyone in the talons of depression or who wants to help.  I find people wish to be seen.  That smile.  That word can make a difference.  A cup of tea brought to them.  A bowl soup.  A bit of bread.  Obviously I feed people.  But I have noticed when I am out and about that saying Good Morning or hello makes a difference.  When I have fallen, it is the homeless man on the corner who I say hello to who picked me up.  Not the office workers.  I saw him.  I acknowledged him.  This may not be enough stop someone you love to not harm themselves.  But it may be enough for when they decide they need help they can reach to you.  And they will know they are seen.  They are loved.